Close enough.

By now we all know about my hatred of snakes and how awful they are. It’s time to move over, Snake! There’s a new villain in town and he may suck even worse then you. Not so fast, Snake. You’re not out of the woods yet. I may have to see you again before I decide. We’ve put some space between us and it’s helped, Snake. It really has. But for now…

We have a squirrel in our house. OUR HOUSE, PEOPLE. Don’t get me wrong: I like squirrels…outside. I actually grew up pretty much in the country, so I’m used to a few critters in the house. A mouse here and there was no biggie and pretty much the norm. It was not uncommon to hear scurrying in the ceiling. In fact, there was a mouse in my dorm room in university once. It’s not like we found a few droppings and were like, “It must be a mouse!” It was more like, “Oh, hi there mouse playing with my shoelace while my shoe is still on my foot, and hanging out beside me while I’m on the computer”. My roommate and I bought a few traps (I still feel kind of bad), and set them out. One day I came back from class and there was a note on the door. It said, “Ding Dong the mouse is dead. Can you get rid of it?” I opened the door and lo and behold – there was an upside down mouse trap in the very middle of the floor. I did clean it up. No problem.

So, I’m not really freaked out by critters in the house. What I don’t like is when I can hear him eating away at the innards of our house. Not scurrying; eating, chomping and dining. Should’ve kept to scurrying, Squirrel. Now we have to call someone to come in and somehow displace you. When they come, squirrel, don’t be fooled by the live traps. Your days of living for free and nibbling away in our house have come to an end. If you come back, we’ll knock on the walls at you. Loudly! And probably call someone to come back and catch you again.

Boo for Squirrels. But at least it’s not a snake. If it was a snake in our house? I don’t even know. I don’t even…